


Magnolias

by Khylara



Category: Public Enemies (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:25:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1813435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khylara/pseuds/Khylara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On really bad days, Mel can smell magnolias in the air</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magnolias

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2011 Guns & Fedoras LJ Community Halloween challenge

He doesn’t come to me often - really only on two main occasions. The first being days that were special to the two of us. The anniversary of our first kiss, for instance. Or the day we met. On those days I know he’ll be waiting for me outside the Bureau’s office building and we’ll actually walk for a bit before going back to my apartment. I’ll share with him everything that’s gone on since that terrible night I lost him and he’ll just listen, offering advice or commiseration when they’re needed. On those days, it’s almost as if we’re a normal pair of friends meeting for a beer; people nod greetings to him and step around him as if he’s really walking next to me, so I assume they can see him. Whether they can or not, we’re careful not to touch each other or give any other hints that we were something more than friends. Even in this day and age, there are some things that aren’t tolerated out in the open.

   
But the other days - the days when being alone hurts more than anything I’ve ever known - those are the days when I can feel the lightest brush of a kiss against my cheek when I’m bent over my unending paperwork or the press of arms around my waist just when I need to be held. Those are the days when I can hear his voice whispering in my ear, in my heart, telling me he loves me more than anything in this world or the next. Those are the days when I can see the faintest shape of him standing in the corner of my office, watching over me just like he used to when he was alive.  
   
Those are the days I can smell magnolias.  
   
I’m not sure why it’s magnolias. Probably because they’ve always meant “home” to me. I catch a whiff of their perfume and I’m immediately transported back to my father’s house in South Carolina and the huge tree we had in our front yard.  I would spend hours in that tree when I was a boy, climbing up to the highest branches where they had twined together to form a seat with a pocket full of sugar cookies and a book. I had been heartbroken when I had found out that lightening had taken out the tree during my senior year at college – it had been like losing an old friend at the time.  
   
That feeling was much, much worse when I lost Carter. Because he wasn’t just a friend, a fellow agent, my second-in-command in Chicago. Somehow, without either of us realizing it at the time, he managed to capture my heart, and on our first day of training, too. I didn’t find out until much later that I had captured his on the same day, almost at the very same moment. All I know is that I caught a glimpse of that rare smile of his on that day and I was lost. Hopelessly, completely besotted.  
   
We didn’t do anything about it at the time, of course. Both of us had been too young, too naive to realize what we were feeling back then and to admit that it was more than just friendship. It wasn’t until we were risking our lives trying to capture Pretty Boy Floyd that we told each other and it wasn’t until Chicago that we consummated that pent up desire, that aching need.  
   
So much wasted time. It’s something I regret now, that we wasted so much time dancing around each other instead of being together.  
   
But once we realized that we felt the same way about each other, that it was love and not just a passing fancy…well…we could barely keep our hands off each other. Stolen kisses in the stairwell, awkward fumbling in the Pierce Arrow’s front seat while on stakeouts, nights spent in each other’s arms either at my apartment or his…we were together for barely a year, but it was easily the best, the most romantic year of my life.  Certainly the one most filled with love.  
   
And then I lost him.  
   
Until my dying day, I’ll regret my actions at Little Bohemia. I should have never sent him away from me that dark cold night. Ironic that I was trying to keep him safe from harm, when he would have been far safer by my side. The moment I heard those gunshots and saw the car pull away…I knew what had happened. And being so far away from help, I knew there was nothing I could do to save him. He died right there, gasping out Nelson’s name with his dying breath and with my hand on his forehead, offering what little comfort I could in the form of my touch.  
   
I remember practically inviting Death to come and take me after that, going after Nelson with a vengeance I hadn’t thought possible. If I couldn’t save the man I loved, then at the very least I could send the man who killed him straight to the depths of Hell.  And I did, shooting him down like he shot Carter down, but it did nothing to heal the aching hole in my heart.  
   
I went back to my hotel room that night and buried my face in a pillow to muffle my sobs, practically screaming out my heartbreak. I had wanted to die so badly, anything so Carter and I could be together again, so I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life alone and bereft. It was then that I first caught the sweet scent of magnolias in the night air, right before I heard him whispering comfort in my ear and felt his fingers entwine with mine.  
   
Soul mates, Carter called it when I finally calmed down enough to ask questions. Two hearts joined forever in time so tightly that not even death could separate them. Some people never find that, but somehow we had. And because we had, Carter promised that whenever I truly needed him, he’d be there.  
   
I couldn’t help but hope he’d be with me today, because the way I was feeling, I needed him more than ever.  
   
The moment I got into the office I was accosted from all sides. Memos from Hoover, all different, all berating me for some triviality. Phone messages from the Chief of Police, asking for leniency in dealing with Chicago’s underworld element – a request that only proved my suspicions that he was being bribed. The coffee urn was in pieces on an empty desk, with two agents who should have been concentrating on leads and paperwork tinkering with it’s innards. I let out a heavy sigh when I saw that; I had been looking forward to a cup of coffee to fight off the morning’s chill.  
   
“Good morning, Miss Rogers,” I said to my secretary as I took off my hat and overcoat. I nodded toward the coffee pot. “When did that give up the ghost?”  
   
“Just this morning,” she said, following my gaze. “Started spitting out the most noxious fluid imaginable before I turned it off. I was afraid it would explode or something.” She handed me the mail before continuing. “I’ve already put in a phone call to a local restaurant supply store for another one. It should be delivered this afternoon. The request form is on your desk awaiting your signature.”  
   
I smiled, impressed with her efficiency as always. “Very good. Thank you.” I glanced at the stack of file folders and memos on my desk, thinking for a moment.  “If Director Hoover or Mr. Tolson should happen to call, put them through right away.  Anyone else, I’ll get back to.” I heaved another sigh. “I want to clear away some of the things on my desk first.”  
   
“Of course.” She gave me a knowing look. “Should I try tracking down a cup of coffee for you? The lunch counter downstairs should be open by now.”  
   
I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled out my wallet, handing her a few bills.  “That would be wonderful. Get one for yourself as well.” She got up from her chair and nodded as I went into my office and shut the door behind me.  
   
The phone on my desk rang just as I was hanging up my coat and hat. I picked it up. “Yes?”  
   
“Director Hoover is on the line, Sir,” one of Doris’ assistants said over the line.  
   
I sat down and rubbed my eyes; I could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. I didn’t like dealing with Hoover on good days – his entire demeanor left me cold and the memory of his hands on me after the press conference announcing me Special Agent in Charge of the Chicago office caused me to shudder every time I thought of it.  I had no choice, though.  “Put him through.” I waited for the click before I began speaking. “Good morning, Sir.”  
   
I got through the endless questions wanting details about my search for John Dillinger and his associates, ignoring the innuendos peppering the conversation by pretending the connection was bad. It wasn’t; considering he was in Washington it was remarkably clear. I was in no mood to verbally fence with him, though and I honestly didn’t have the patience to be polite.  Not today.  
   
After promising him more substantial results the next time he called, I quickly hung up the phone and put a hand over my eyes, my head now pounding. It was then I caught the sweet scent of magnolias in the air. Looking up, a relieved feeling swept over me when I saw the faintest shimmer of a shape in the corner. Carter.  
   
Before I could say anything Doris knocked on the door before stepping into my office. She handed me a steaming paper cup. “Here you are. I didn’t know how you took it.”  
   
“Black, actually. Thank you.” I took a long sip, savoring the bitterness. It was just what I needed to clear my head after listening to Hoover.   
   
Putting my change on the desk, she turned and paused at the doorway. “That’s odd.”  
   
I looked up at her, puzzled. “What is?”  
   
She turned to look at me.  “I can smell flowers.”  
   
I didn’t dare glance over at Carter. I knew he had a grin a mile wide on his face and seeing it would just make me grin as well, which would cause Doris to ask all sorts of questions I didn’t want to answer. “I don’t smell anything,” I lied. “Perhaps it’s just your perfume?”  
   
She frowned. “I’m not wearing any. Charles is allergic.”  
   
I tried again. “The ventilation in these older buildings has always been poor.  The smell is probably from a nearby office.” I hated to do it, but I came out with another lie.  “I saw a floral delivery truck downstairs when I came in. Perhaps they’re making deliveries in the building and someone put a vase next to a vent.”  
   
She considered that for a moment.  “Yes, that must be it,” she finally said, dismissing it from her thoughts. She held up the letters in her grasp. “I’ll get to those memos you left me to do yesterday afternoon.”  
   
“Thank you, Miss Rogers.” She left, closing the door behind her.  
   
The moment I was alone I looked up and smiled at him. “Hello, there,” I greeted. “I’ve missed you, my darlin’.”  
   
“I’ve missed you, too, Mel.” My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my nickname; he was the only one with the privilege of calling me that. Not even my family called me Mel; it was too undignified and working class, my grandmother always said. “And I’ve especially missed you calling me your darling.”  
   
I couldn’t help blushing at his teasing tone. “Well…that’s what you are.” I couldn’t stop looking at him; even the fact that he was semi transparent didn’t hide the fact that Carter Baum was a beautiful man. “It is good to see you.”  
   
“You, too.” There was a pause. “I had a feeling you might need me today.”  
   
I glanced at the calendar on my desk and suddenly went cold as I sagged in my chair. A year to the day since I lost him. Where had the time gone?  
   
Carter came up behind me and I felt the pressure of arms wrapped around my neck. “It’s all right, Mel,” he whispered, the scent of magnolias stronger than ever. “I’m here. I love you and I’m right here.”  
   
“I wish you really were,” I couldn’t help whispering. I reached up and put my hand over his, closing my eyes as I relaxed in his embrace. God, I missed this. Missed feeling him in my arms and hearing his voice, missed just watching him walk across the room. It was so lonely without him…  
   
“I know,” Carter murmured, kissing my temple. He seemed to know just what I was thinking, but then he always did. Even before he died he had possessed that uncanny ability of knowing what I was thinking sometimes before I even thought it. “It is for me, too, Mel.”  
   
He held me like that for I don’t know how long, not saying anything else. Finally, though, he drew away and met my eyes, smiling at me. “Better?” he asked, running a finger along my cheek.  
   
I leaned into the touch just a little. “Much. Thank you.” I really wanted to kiss him, but that would have to wait until we were alone. My office was all windows and even though it didn’t look like anyone was paying attention, it wouldn’t do to have one of the other agents walk in unexpectedly. There was enough talk about me acting oddly as it was.  
   
Once again he seemed to know just what I was thinking, because his smile suddenly became a grin. “Kissing you is definitely something to look forward to. Among other things.” He nuzzled my ear.  “Any idea when you’ll be getting out of here?”  
   
I looked at the pile of paperwork on my desk, about to tell him that it would be awhile when I suddenly decided I didn’t give a damn. “Give me a moment,” I said as I found the paperwork for the coffee urn on top of the pile. I quickly signed it and picked it up; Doris would need it when the deliveryman came. “I just need to give this to Doris and then I can go.”  
   
“Really?” A delighted smile lit up his face. “You’re sure?” When I nodded he waved a hand at my paperwork. “What about all that?”  
   
“It can wait a day. Even a handful of days. None of it is urgent,” Finishing my coffee, I threw the empty cup into a nearby trashcan before grabbing my coat and hat off of the rack. “And considering what today is…I’d much rather be with you.”  
   
He waited by the door as I gave Doris the invoice, saying that I wasn’t feeling well and I’d be going home. She nodded, giving me an understanding look as she did so; she knew how I got after dealing with Hoover.  She surprised me, though, when she put her hand over mine. “I miss him, too,” she said softly.  
   
I managed a smile for her as I put on my hat. “Thank you, Miss Rogers.” After wishing her a good afternoon, I followed Carter out of the office and down the stairs.  
   
“I miss her, too,” he finally said once we were out on the street. There was a note of longing in his voice as he looked back for a moment. “She used to make sugar cookies for me every few weeks. Said I was too skinny.”  
   
“She still does,” I said as we walked. “Every now and again I’ll find a plate on my desk. And she tells me the exact same thing.”  
   
He smiled at me as he made a show of looking me over.  “Well…in your case I’d say it was true. Don’t you eat any more?”  
   
I glanced down at myself. I had lost weight since he died but I had thought it wasn’t noticeable. I should have known better. “Of course I eat.”  
   
“Every day? Or just when you remember?” He didn’t wait for an answer before shaking his head.  “Mel…you have to take better care of yourself.” He stopped, forcing me to stop with him.  “Promise me you will from now on.”  
   
I sighed; I really didn’t want to be having this conversation right now. Especially with the ghost of my lover on the anniversary of his death. “Carter…”  
   
His voice was soft but firm. “Promise me, Mel. Please.”  
   
It was the look in those dark eyes of his that made me relent – the look that told me that even though he was dead he still worried about me, cared about what happened to me. “All right, my darlin’,” I finally said.  “I promise. I’ll do everything I can to take care of myself. For your sake.”  Quickly glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention, I took his hand in mine and squeezed his fingers.  “All right?”  
   
He squeezed back before letting go. “Thank you.”  
   
We walked the rest of the way in silence, both of us wanting to get to my apartment as quickly as possible.  I could feel the need to hold Carter close singing through every part of me and I could tell by the looks he was giving me that he was feeling much the same. It had been much too long since we were last together.  
   
The moment we entered my apartment and I securely closed and locked the door, Carter pulled me into a deep kiss. Sighing, I immediately buried my fingers in his hair; I’ve learned not to question why sometimes I can see right through him and other times he’s a solid, comforting weight in my arms. He only answers with a shrug and a smile before distracting me anyway, and to be honest, I’m not quite sure I want to know. I don’t want to think about what it could mean.  
   
Soon he had my tie unknotted and my buttons undone, his hand running down my chest in a blatant caress.  I moaned into his kiss as his fingertips brushed against my nipples, my own hands busy with pulling off his own clothes. He had on the outfit he had tracked down Pretty Boy Floyd in – brown corduroys, carelessly knotted tie, brown leather jacket. The only thing missing was the fedora he usually wore pulled low over his eyes. Which actually was a good thing; the way I was feeling I would have sent it sailing across the room.  
   
We fell onto my bed still kissing, still trying to get out of the growing tangle that was becoming our clothes. Finally, Carter pulled away enough to look at me, a gleam in those beautiful dark eyes of his. “Get undressed. Now.”  
   
Silk tie, cotton shirt and wool suit were on the floor in minutes and soon Carter was back in my arms, my hands roaming over his bare skin as we kissed. Our erections brushed together and I let out a shaky little moan.  God, I had missed this…  
   
I gently pushed him onto his back and began kissing my way down his chest, pausing to tease his nipples erect with my tongue. Carter sighed and arched into my touch, his fingers tangling in my hair as he silently urged me lower.  I continued on; I wasn’t about to disappoint him.  
   
I slid my mouth over his cock, my own arousal growing when Carter let out a low, throaty groan.  I loved doing this, loved taking him in my mouth and down my throat, tasting the very essence of him.  Loved feeling his fingers dig into my shoulders, knowing they’d leave bruises and not caring. Loved knowing I could take him apart bit by tiny bit until he was literally screaming my name.  It was something I couldn’t get enough of.  
   
Just as I knew he was about to come, I felt a tug on my hair.  I looked up, smiling.  “Yes?”  
   
Smiling as well, he pulled on me until I was back in his arms. “While what you’re doing to me is wonderful, Mel, I think I have a better idea.” His hand slid down to my ass for emphasis.  
   
My eyes went wide. “Yes…God, yes,” I breathed as I let him push me against the pillows.  Reaching over, I pulled open the bedside table drawer and rummaged around until I found the small jar of petroleum jelly kept there. I handed it to him. “Please, Carter.”  
   
He gave me a long, tongue-tangling kiss. “You’re sure?” he asked, hesitating a little. “I don’t want to hurt you.”  
   
“You won’t. You never could.” I wrapped my legs around him, my eyes never leaving his. “Please, my darlin’.”  
   
He let out a frustrated little groan before giving me another, harder kiss. “God, Mel…you don’t know what it does to me when you call me darling.” His hand slid under me, one gel slick finger teasing the opening to my body before slowly inching it’s way inside. “Okay?”  
   
I closed my eyes, relishing the feeling of his finger slowly sliding in and out of me. “Yes…better than okay.” A whimper escaped me when he turned one finger into two. “Carter…please…”  
   
“It’s all right, Mel. Patience.” He grinned as thrust his fingers into me just a little harder, drawing a cry out of me. “How does that feel?”  
   
“Good…so damn good.” His fingers brushed a spot deep inside of me and I let out a loud cry as my back arched off the bed. “Carter!”  
   
“Almost there, Mel,” he promised. “Almost.” He paused for a long moment, brushing his fingers over my face. “I love you.”  
   
Sliding my arms around his neck, I gave him another kiss.  “I love you, too.” I couldn’t help the groan that escaped as he pressed into me. Good…he felt so good whenever we made love like this. It was rare; we were usually so eager for each other that we hardly ever got this far in our lovemaking, and most of the times we had, I had been the dominant one. But the bare handful of times Carter had been…they had been nothing short of perfect.  
   
Beyond perfect, actually. Much like it was now.  
   
“My Mel…I love you,” he murmured as he moved, punctuating each thrust with a kiss. “So much…you have to know how much…Mel…”  
   
“Carter…darlin’ Carter…I love you, too…sweet beautiful darlin’…” I met every one of his thrusts with one of my own, the combined movements sending my flying faster and higher than I had ever been. “Yes, Carter…God, yes…please…please…” It was incredible, how he was making me feel with each thrust hitting the very center of me and sending little electric jolts of pleasure throughout my entire body.  I knew it wasn’t going to last.  
   
It didn’t.  He managed one last thrust before he came hard, burying his face in my shoulder as he moaned out my name. That was all it took to send me spiraling out of control; closing my eyes, I came as well, shaking in his arms as I spurted all over both of our bellies.  
   
He held me close after, playing with my hair as I got myself more or less back under control. I sighed as I tightened my hold around his waist; I didn’t want him to go…  
   
“I know,” he whispered into my ear. “I don’t want to go, either.” There was a pause as he continued to stroke my hair.  “But you’re not alone, Mel.  Even if I’m not by your side, I want you to remember that you’re not alone. And if you really need me, I’ll come back. I promise.”  
   
That comforted me for some reason. It shouldn’t have; Carter was still dead, after all. But knowing he’d be there if I needed him, that we were in each other’s thoughts…that made me feel a little better. “I know you have to,” I said, looking up at him. “You can’t stay…I know that. But not just yet.” I brushed my fingers over his face.  “Please, darlin’…stay for a little while.”  
   
He smiled and pulled me into another kiss.  “For a little while,” he said, his voice soft. “Get some rest, my love. I’ll be here.”  
   
I settled into his arms, laying my head on his shoulder as he pulled the blanket over both of us. With the scent of magnolias hanging in the air, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.  
   
*  
   
Some time later, I woke up alone.  
   
I knew I was by myself almost immediately; there was no reassuring weight leaning against me, no caressing fingers sliding through my hair. Without opening my eyes I reached out across the empty spot next to me in bed, my heart aching as I felt the coolness of the sheets.  _Gone again,_ I couldn’t help thinking. And while I knew that if I truly needed Carter he would come back, I still couldn’t help feeling alone.  
   
Until I opened my eyes and saw the gift Carter had left me on his pillow.  
   
A pink magnolia blossom.


End file.
